An Alarming Shortage

Ladies and gentlemen… well, mostly ladies… we are experiencing an alarming shortage of men… real, manly men.

Where have they gone? How did this happen? There are hundreds of reasons – all of which I care nothing about. Am I the majority? Not by any means.

Living in NYC, the metro man is the majority, and the city ladies love him. He is clean, snazzy and trendy. He takes good care of himself and we know it (based on the fact that he takes longer to get ready than we do). Manicured hands, waxed eyebrows, pants and shirts tighter (and sometimes lower) than ours…


Oh, pardon me. I have been informed by the beautiful Sidrah that “metrosexual” men are “so 2011.” Now we have LUMBERsexuals. Ask Buzzfeed – they know things. Wonderful! You appear to be a manly man, but never actually go into the woods, eat kale on the regular, and bought all those plaid shirts at Ralph Lauren.


So does this man really need to work outdoors? No, but he should be able to enter the water without water shoes. Does he need to be rough and violent? No, but for Christ sake, I shouldn’t be able to beat him up. Does he solely drink beer? No, but let his drink of choice not be the color pink (or be an apple-tini).

Did I cover all the “men” stereotypes? Good.

“What’s wrong with taking care of how I look!?” they will say! Come on now. You know for a fact I don’t mean that this man literally needs to be dirty. Well, maybe a little?


Where have all the cowboys gone?” asked Paula Cole. Woman, I wish I knew.

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